Johnny Dusseldorf interview:
@ Mullingar music and cattle festival 2006
Interviewer: I have to admit I haven't heard of you, being from the electronic side of things. Do you have any albums out?
Johnny: Electronics? Like power drills? Do you sell washing machines? Mines fucked. Only lasted two bastardin' years. I'll take a cheap one off ye. Do ye have any Tricity Bendix?
Interviewer: No, I meant electronic music.
Johnny: Oh that shite. I don't follow that sort of thing at all at all. Yes I have an album on the way but thats not really my style. I'm more of a live singer. I need that buzz of the crowd, the smell of piss in my nostrils, that kind of thing.
Interviewer: Have you gigged with any famous country and western stars?
Johnny: I've gigged with them all. Paddy Bishop, Screaming Paddy Cattails O'Shea and Daniel O'donnell. Bit of a cunt. Absolute coke fiend, will never go near that fucker again. Whorin' Tom Hogan, Billy Ray Maughan.
Interviewer: I haven't really heard of any of these people
Johnny: That's because you have no taste in music. Country n' Western is the music of the plain people of Ireland, not that gay yuppie crap that you listen to. They're all great artists, but I'm the absolute best. Groovy, as you'd say. No other fucker does it like me. Nobody.
Interviewer: I heard you were in the US. How did you get on there?
Johnny: Grand, grand, they're just not ready for my style over there, they know fuck all about country and western. I couldn't get a gig to save me life. I was sleepin' on a fuckin' bench livin' on my own piss.
Interviewer: Why did you come back to Ireland?
Johnny: The dole is easy to get and I can run up a tab in any bar I go into because people appreciate great artists over here. Do they fuck (laughs) I was two songs into my last gig and some knacker prick threw a bottle at my head. If i wasn't so drunk it would've hurt.
Interviewer: You've just come out of hospital, what happened and how are you now?
Johnny: How the fuck did you know that? mind your own fucking business! Well if you must know it was alcohol related I got a naggin of vodka stuck in me gullet.
Interviewer: What do you like to do on your time off?
Johnny: Drink, lampin', those rabbits can be fast little fuckers I tell ya. But not fast enough.
Interviewer: As you know we're from a drum and bass website..
Johnny: What the fuck?
Interviewer: It's electronic music, that's actually something like it playing in the background.
Johnny: What!? Jesus I thought they where putting up scaffolding for the stage. There's loads of little boy racers drivin' around my town pumpin' that shit out. I usually fuck a bottle at their windscreens. You actually enjoy that? Ye need yer fuckin' head examined.
Interviewer: Any plans to modernize your music? Bring some electronic sounds in?
Johnny: What the fuck do you mean modernize? Sure it's as modern as you can get, don't I use a fuckin' drum machine you uppity little bollox. Fuck you. Interview over.
Interviewer: Um, sorry about that.....
Johnny: Kiss my curly little hole and give me that whisky bottle over there. Drum and Bass, jesus.......
@ Mullingar music and cattle festival 2006
Interviewer: I have to admit I haven't heard of you, being from the electronic side of things. Do you have any albums out?
Johnny: Electronics? Like power drills? Do you sell washing machines? Mines fucked. Only lasted two bastardin' years. I'll take a cheap one off ye. Do ye have any Tricity Bendix?
Interviewer: No, I meant electronic music.
Johnny: Oh that shite. I don't follow that sort of thing at all at all. Yes I have an album on the way but thats not really my style. I'm more of a live singer. I need that buzz of the crowd, the smell of piss in my nostrils, that kind of thing.
Interviewer: Have you gigged with any famous country and western stars?
Johnny: I've gigged with them all. Paddy Bishop, Screaming Paddy Cattails O'Shea and Daniel O'donnell. Bit of a cunt. Absolute coke fiend, will never go near that fucker again. Whorin' Tom Hogan, Billy Ray Maughan.
Interviewer: I haven't really heard of any of these people
Johnny: That's because you have no taste in music. Country n' Western is the music of the plain people of Ireland, not that gay yuppie crap that you listen to. They're all great artists, but I'm the absolute best. Groovy, as you'd say. No other fucker does it like me. Nobody.
Interviewer: I heard you were in the US. How did you get on there?
Johnny: Grand, grand, they're just not ready for my style over there, they know fuck all about country and western. I couldn't get a gig to save me life. I was sleepin' on a fuckin' bench livin' on my own piss.
Interviewer: Why did you come back to Ireland?
Johnny: The dole is easy to get and I can run up a tab in any bar I go into because people appreciate great artists over here. Do they fuck (laughs) I was two songs into my last gig and some knacker prick threw a bottle at my head. If i wasn't so drunk it would've hurt.
Interviewer: You've just come out of hospital, what happened and how are you now?
Johnny: How the fuck did you know that? mind your own fucking business! Well if you must know it was alcohol related I got a naggin of vodka stuck in me gullet.
Interviewer: What do you like to do on your time off?
Johnny: Drink, lampin', those rabbits can be fast little fuckers I tell ya. But not fast enough.
Interviewer: As you know we're from a drum and bass website..
Johnny: What the fuck?
Interviewer: It's electronic music, that's actually something like it playing in the background.
Johnny: What!? Jesus I thought they where putting up scaffolding for the stage. There's loads of little boy racers drivin' around my town pumpin' that shit out. I usually fuck a bottle at their windscreens. You actually enjoy that? Ye need yer fuckin' head examined.
Interviewer: Any plans to modernize your music? Bring some electronic sounds in?
Johnny: What the fuck do you mean modernize? Sure it's as modern as you can get, don't I use a fuckin' drum machine you uppity little bollox. Fuck you. Interview over.
Interviewer: Um, sorry about that.....
Johnny: Kiss my curly little hole and give me that whisky bottle over there. Drum and Bass, jesus.......