These fuckers chug on the big hairy corporate cock until they choke on the juices. WHERE IS YOUR PRIDE, YOU CHICKENSHIT CONFORMIST ARSELICKERS?  If these assholes with a flea’s scrotum for a fucking brain want to use their tumour causing technology so badly, then let’s just staple the things to their fucking well groomed gay faces, preferably with rusty staples. Ahh…..yuppies, mobile phone users and blood poisoning, what a magical combination. Better yet, let’s slowly increase the amount of radiation that the bastards recieve from their mobile cancer units. It’d certainly be very funny to see the fuckers walking around with tumours the size of elephant testicles on their faces a few years from now. Or just plain dead from Poppa Cancer.

Up their well groomed, self – conscious, tea party holding mothers’dead arse.

The sort of twats who probably helped vote in that ambassador of utter stupidity, George W. Bush? And careerist rednecks to fucking boot!! I mean, can you think of a potentially worse combination? Bands like this aren’t fit to lick globules of piss from Iggy Pop’s cock.  Stating the obvious that may be, but if you want to hear real fuck off rock music, you won’t find it here. Christ, eight million albums and counting!? You fuckheads should be ashamed of yourselves.

Ah, sorry about that. But really, you ,must realise that if I had a small platoon of Viet Congs, on LSD and armed with the latest in the line of big as a blue whales cock miniguns, I’d soon eliminate the problem of dumb as a baboon’s arse, deformed faece freaks in this country. Just line the smelly ranks of unwashed up before with me, and ah yes, the smell of napalm in the morning…… Of course what we could do with them is use them as guinea pigs in laboratories. Not for the betterment of mankind or any of that hopeless bullshit, but just so we can riddle them with stomach – churningly bastard rotten diseases, and fuck around with their DNA. You never know, we might even get a human being out of a serious fucking experiment like that.

Anyway, up their……ahh, fuck it.

If the music being shat out by record companies is any reflection of the people buying it, then the smart people, what few there are left, are truly fucked. The current pop smorgasbord is 99% braindead, soulless, conformist, inoffensive, fake bull fucking shit, quite possibly exactly like the audience of masturbating hormone drenched twats that puts these fucking non – events in the upper reaches of the charts. Here’s a list of names: Britney Spears. Bewitched. Celine Dion. The Corrs. Steps. Stereophonics. Oasis. Travis. Robbie Williams. Will Smith. Boyzone. Mariah Carey. Supergrass. Vengaboys. Westlife. Five. The Spice Girls. S Club 7. EIffel 65. Every shit dance band that sounds exactly the fucking same. All fantastic, great artists, totally fucking sincere, and sure to be remembered in 10 years time. My bleeding arse. Imagine this for a truly horrible situation. You’re inside a locked room with all of the above and you have in your hands a loaded AK – 47 with just 15 bullets in it. Horrible, eh? Every one of the lobotomised fuckers and their abortion bucket refugee fans should be skinned, doused in vinegar and petrol, kneecapped, and then set alight. I guarantee that their screams of bowel – loosening agony would be infinitely more listenable than the intestinal blood clots passing for CDs in their collection.

Up their mothers dead arse is too eloquent for these bastards. Just do the decent thing, and FUCKING DIE.

up your mothers dead arse.

It also explains why they are all (including the women) uglier than a leper’s arse, and not quite as smart. For fucks sake, all you whiteboy muthafuckers probably haven’t even met a person of a different race in your sewer of a life. And, I’m willing to bet that any time you’ve been fucked over, it was always one of your own crowd, wasn’t it? Besides, look at the women, you blind bastards. MMmmmmm….. These fuckwads need a dose of their own medicine. So let’s have them all anally raped by, oh lets say a sex starved elephant. For a month. Let’s face it, the bastards would soon change their asshole philosophies soon enough, no pun intended, and it would be pretty fun to watch. Let’s set up a trust fund right now. The Anally Raped Racists Charity. Give me money now, you wankers. You know it makes sense.

For a change, up their mothers dead arse.

Their mannerisms annoy like fuck as well, you know the usual limp wristed, flapping of arms and  frantic gesticulating, and stating imbecilic fuckarse bollocks like “Oh, yes, I’m like, totally gay. Totally queer.” As if wasting your sperm was something to be fucking proud of. I swear, if I ever get approached by one of those syphilis infested maggots again, I’ll prise their arse cheeks apart with a car jack, and drive a forklift up their lower intestine. Cut the bastards cocks off and mail them to their parents. Do it now. NOW, DAMMIT! I would say up their mothers dead arse, but they’d probably think that that might help her to understand them better. So, without further ado, may their useless genitalia wither to the size of a berry and poison their watery fucking blood.

HA FUCKING HA.

These fuckers are worse than the crap I pick out from my ingrown toenail. MY FUCKING GENITAL WARTS ARE MORE INTELLIGENT!! Stop conforming to some philosophy simply because it might offend some four eyed, Amnesty International, Greenpeace supporting vegetarian nobody who probably doesn’t fucking understand half the terms that he uses, and would go to civil rights and environmental rallies, but oh, they’re all going out on the piss tonight. You get the general idea, I shouldn’t have to join the fucking dots for you, unless you’re mentally retarded of course. Anyway, vegetarians can’t protest. Their blood is like an anaemics’ piss fom not eating MEAT, and they don’t have the bastard energy to even raise their pale, shrunken hands. Save the carrots I say.

UP YOUR ARSE YOU UPPITY NIGGER.

(Now, folks, watch the hate mail flow in for that last statement. Consider it a controlled experiment. I’ll bet that most of the mail comes from America……)

Worse still, he draws exactly the sort of mental midgets to his concerts that identify with him. Ten and eleven year olds saying they’re “down with Eminem because he hates gays”, then there are the dildo loving fourteen year old bitches that like him because he’s “buff” (No worries about them reading the lyric sheet), and the fucking wastes of life who dig him for the so – called danger factor. And what’s all this shit from academics claiming that his lyrics are poetic works worthy of T.S Eliot? What sort of a fucking commendation is that? This may strike you as a bit of a sad statement, but if he was black, would such infamy and acclaim be heaped upon him like offal on a slaughterhouse floor? I’ve got three words for you people, PUBLIC FUCKING ENEMY. Surprise, folks, I’m about to say good about something for a change. Now here are lyrics worthy of being termed “poetic”. Intelligence. Anger. A social conscience. Imagination. Eminem invokes a sick society on a sick society. Public Enemy wanted to change it. Check them out, and then maybe you’ll see sense and throw out those Eminem CDs. Do it now, assholes.

There is nothing quite as utterly fucking dull as watching a group of people living in a house, eating, sleeping, being set challenges by the show’s organisers, arguing, and spouting the most insanely dull bullshit that appears to pass for conversation among these pricks. A show like this makes you realise just how boring most people actually are. You find yourself wishing that one of the fuckers would pull out a minigun and redecorate the house with human flesh, such is the level of tedium. But the people, that is, the audience, are the real dickheads for being completely taken in by it. Haven’t any of you idiots got lives? You know, where you do things that are like, interesting? Constructive? Exciting? Good for the mind and soul? Whoops. Sorry. Almost made you think there. Can’t have that now, can we? Especially in this all encompassing Age of The Imbecile. You can go back to putting a new dial tone in your mobile now. Fuckheads.